Embracing the third gender…

A striking difference between Thailand and… well, lets just say most other countries around the world, is the visibility and apparent acceptance of gender diversity here (this post is focused on trans women or MTF).

The most widely popular Thai name for trans women is Katheoys, which more accurately means a type of man that displays or dresses in feminine ways. The more accurate and less used terms are sao praphet song (trans women) or phet thi sam (the third gender).

I am regularly served by young trans women in the local 7/11 and other 7/11s I venture into. They sport long black hair, fixed neatly back into ponytails and carefully made faces. They use the feminine endings on Thai words with undisguised broken voices.

I see other transgendered woman working in places I have been. Swivelling past in fancy black pants, slim shiny belt and a pressed short sleeved crimson shirt. A beautiful red comb in her hair and a face like a traditional Thai painting.

Such visibility here. As I waited for a boat yesterday I observed an immaculate Thai trans woman. She was dressed in a well above knee high black mini skirt, with a shimmering turquoise shirt subtly peeking out from a prime cut black jacket. Her hair was combed precisely and wound back under a black sequined clip. Her face broad, with precisely plucked eyebrows, burgundy lips made bigger from a carefully crafted lip technique. What was most outstanding was her extremely polished glowing calves. Their perfect muscular presence shone with polished pride, the certain envy of any well air-brushed model.

I wanted to reach out and touch these sparkling gems. But if I did I’m sure I tarnish their poised perfection, much like the sweaty, dirty hand prints of a teenager on recently polished silverware.

She announced the boarding procedure first in carefully spoken accented English, and then in Thai, she used the male version endings on words. She used ‘krap’ instead of ‘ka’. I found that interesting. Like emphasising ‘I am ok being a woman, but I don’t deny my other or previous gender’ (as the case may be for her).

This overt openness with gendered language brought comfort to my heart. ‘I am who I am. And I accept that. You can accept it too.’

Thailand has made world headlines on a number of occasions for its apparent acceptance of gender diversity in sport (trans players in volleyball, Thai boxing, also portrayed in films such as the ‘Iron Ladies’ and ‘Beautiful boxer’) and education with some schools in Thailand introducing a ‘third gender’ toilet. Image having a third gender toilet in all schools across the world, what sort of change in perceptions and society that would make!

Thailand performs more sexual reassignment surgeries than any other country. It is considered a very tolerant place for western diverse gender tourists.

Yet, transgendered people are not yet recognised in Thai law. There are proposed changes to the Thai constitution to include a ‘third gender’, which is likely to be approved in April 2015.

On the surface, there appears to be acceptance of gender diversity, especially in tourist areas and large cities. Then again, the first schools to introduce a ‘third gender’ toilet, were in small rural communities. Some groups say that Thai acceptance of the third gender goes hand in hand with Theravada Buddhism. 95% of Thais identify as Buddhist. Tolerance is a prized Buddhist philosophy, along with the idea of karma, where people are seen to be reincarnated in this life as a Kathoey or trans for things they did in their previous life (thereby attracting pity rather than congratulatory acceptance).

Underneath the famous Thai smiles, there are still hurdles of family expectations. This is perhaps one explanation of Thai laws not yet fully embracing the ‘third gender’ and allowing equal rights under Thai law.

What I do find interesting in the Thai language is that the term for boyfriend or girlfriend is the same word, แฟน (pronounced ‘Faann’). Imagine a world where it didn’t matter what gender your lover or partner was, just that you had a lover and were loved.

Whilst there are some contradictions in Thai culture, and the law is yet to include the third gender, I enjoy seeing people embracing their lives as they are, how they want to express themselves and be. And that the community, however deep and differing that may be, accepts it. I want to see more people being who they are, not hiding who they are. And all people embracing and celebrating all people as they are, as they become and who they will be.

(I feel a Cindy Lauper song coming on)…