Self love is not buying yourself flowers.
‘I know I need to love myself more.’ But what does that actually mean? To love oneself? I’m always fascinated when my clients or friends say this. But what does it actually mean? You can buy yourself flowers. Sure. You can get a massage. Sure. You can buy that new coat. Sure. These are all nice things to do for oneself. And we label this as‘self-love’ and/or‘self-care. Almost like a…
Best Dahl ever!
After uploading my Dahl video on Youtube last week, I’ve had a few requests for the written version of the receipe. This is a delicious Sri Lankan inspired Dahl, I hope you enjoy it! If you missed the video, here it is again: https://youtu.be/0EfEhygVQQ0 Written instructions (to feed about 10 or so, or plenty to freeze!): Soak a few cups of red lentils in water and salt for at least…
How to remain positive and forward moving during #selfisolation and #socialdistancing
Millions of people are currently being compelled to #socialdistance and #selfisolate in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic. Many of us may not have not have experienced substantial time in isolation before. It can be scary, especially when you don’t know when it may end and what the health, financial and social consequences may be for your life and your loved ones. Over the past decade I have spent weeks…
Where are you from?
‘Where are you from’ she asked as I entered the communal kitchen. ‘Ooohhh, that’s such an interesting question, there could be so many answers to that. I live in the world. I’ve been living in different locations for the last 7 years.’ ‘Well, where were you born?’ I hesitated, ’Australia, but I don’t live there. And it certainly doesn’t tell much about me.’ I smiled, ‘What’s your name?’ I decided…
Proud lists
One of the questions I’ve been introducing into my conversations recently is ‘What are you most proud of?’. I love this question as it gets people to look positively into their past and tell you some gems about themselves. It’s a great way not only to encourage reflection, but also to get to know the people around you deeper (especially if they go deep with the question, more below). It’s…
Death of the White Rabbit
I ran after my mother, kissing her hands, her arms, her legs, anywhere I could find. ‘Ok, that’s enough now.’ ‘But I love you mummy.’ I continue to kiss her arms as she slows down to focus on a task in the lounge room. ‘That’s enough.’ ‘I love you. I love you.’ Repeatedly, I kissed her, over and over again. Desperate to demonstrate my love for her. ‘No more. That’s…
7 questions to transform your end of year gatherings!
I grew up with a lot of family drama around the Christmas table. It was a stressful time. My focus as a girl was to be as helpful, nice and good as I could to attempt to minimise the tension. It really did little to help. Over the years I’ve studied 100s of communication techniques to enhance my communication with others. I love any and all discussions now, because talking…
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Get your Bowies on!
This video contains all my varied learnings from starting up a recycling flip-flop stand in a beach town. My story starts with me needing a pair of inside shoes, and thinking to myself that an odd recycled pair from the beach would be fine, as it’s only for around the house. Then, I went deeper after experiencing wearing the shoes over the next week at home, and then, yes, in…
On writing
Day 1 I’m going to start writing today. Where’s my water? I’ll do some yoga first. Ok, back to the writing. Don’t check social media. No don’t. Hhhhmmmmm… writing… Wild day outside. Good for writing. I’ll make the bed first. Okay, just a quick check on my phone. Nothing exciting… I’ll leave listening to that last message later. No maybe I’ll listen now… Okay, writing. What’s on my other to…
Washed Up – a new range of footwear!
‘I haven’t seen anything like it. Inspired!!!’ Customers across the globe are raving about this new range of footwear. So just what makes this leading edge selection so special? It’s fresh. Salt soaked. Fish nibbled. Spontaneous. They’re a walking sea exfoliation. A labyrinth of minerals, activated slime and sea salt to enhance your soft foot skin wherever you walk. ‘It gives such a feeling of fresh… like I’m walking in…
This is it. (I’m giving up judging my inner freak)
I had fluid on my brain when I was born. A lot of it. And it kept increasing, spreading it’s dangerous waters, filling and stretching all the cavities and tender bones. I was hospitalized for quite some time. I can’t remember it. I kinda wish I could. Is that the sadist in me? The doctors were worried and wanted to operate. My mother and father were members of a happy…
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How to stay calm when repeatedly rejected… want a flyer anyone?
I was pumped. Wide eyed, bushy-tailed third year law student, collecting for a cause I believed in, Amnesty International. My shift was 11am to 3pm. ‘Here’s your shirt Sunni.’ Clean, neat black and white shirt. Very recognisable. I felt part of the team. I’m going to do a good job and collect loads today. ‘So you can go with George and collect around the Queen St area here, you’ll get…
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And then some. It’s been 2 years…
It’s been 2 years. I had only planned to leave for a few months. Because that’s all the time you need to write a book. Right? I soon realised that ‘the creative process’ can take a bit longer than one expects. Well, quadruple that, and then some. The book I started out writing I still haven’t yet finished. I’ve published a different book though, one I randomly thought of in…
‘Still, a man hears what he wants to hear, and disregards the rest’
Last week’s blog post focussed on the first part of the lyric from Simon & Garfunkel’s song, The Boxer. This week is all about the second part of the lyric, ‘Still, A man hears what he wants to hear, and disregards the rest.’ This concept has fascinated me since I was a teenager. Why do we only take on board some of what another tells us? Why do we only…
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All lies and jest…
“All lies and jest, Still, a man hears what he wants to hear, And disregards the rest.” – The Boxer One of my favourite lines from one of the greatest folk duos of all time. I grew up listening to Simon & Garfunkel. Their songs feel as familiar to me as my own freckled skin. Their voices swim through the dots, cloaking me in comfort. This lyric is a powerful…
I don’t care how many countries I’ve been to. Really, I don’t.
I have no idea how many countries I’ve been to. For the last 5 years I’ve roamed the globe, living in very varying locations for shorter or longer stints. But I’ve never counted the amount of countries I’ve been to. That’s because I don’t care. Really, I don’t. I don’t care about the number of stamps in my passport (except when I’m running out of space or the customs officer…
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My failed attempts at dealing with frustration…
I’ve experienced great moments of frustration over the past weeks. Massively constipated times.
I am frustrated things are taking so long. Like as frustrated as trying to get the chocolate that you accidentally dropped between the wall and cupboard and failing on every attempt to reach it. I’ve already got the pools of anticipation in my mouth. I’ve tried a knife (too small), a ruler (too short) and I’ve scratched my arms into track marks from the constant manovering. The saliva is still there.
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What does bravery mean to you?
When I think of the word ‘Brave’ it immediately congers up images of galant knights poised for battle, or a civil rights protester standing infront of a crowd of angry people, policeman and guns, or a girl fighting to walk again after a car accident paralysed her.
A waste of my time?
I can’t even remember her name. I’ve woken up the past few mornings thinking about a client I had when I was practicing child protection law in a disadvantaged area in Australia.
She came to see me about being able to re-establish contact with one of her children. She first came into my office with abruptness, a dash of aggression and a truckload of defence.
My torment, my Bon Fast…
I’ve been asked to discuss the after effects of my 3 day fast over the Christmas period. For over 82 hours the only thing I consumed was water with squeezes of lemon and the occasional herbal tea. I filmed myself in the throws of the fast and made summary videos at the end of each day. You can view these on my You Tube Channel (or scroll down below)
My wish for you…
My wish for all of you is to grab life with everything you’ve got this year. Jump in! Enjoy where ever life takes you, even if it isn’t as smooth as you imagined, even if you end up in some unexpected places, the joy is finding the treasures in these moments (ok, ok, I know you’ve heard that one before, bear with me :)). I had absolutely no idea I would end up in Nepal this year. It was most definitely challenging, but equally enlivening, growing, learning, sharing moments of great satisfaction, connection and fun. I would not replace those 5 months in the world for anything else. It was an incredible time in so many ways!
F’ Yes!
In my previous post I discussed understanding your fears to get to why you’ve made the decisions you’ve made and following this potentially choosing something different to what you’ve been boxed into or repeating. But sometimes there are decisions to be made that don’t have anything ‘big’ behind them, or you are not sure what is what. This post offers a very different technique.
How do I make decisions? It starts with this…
A question I was introduced to in my 20s was: what is the worst case scenario?
In any given situation, I would ask, what is the worst outcome that could happen? Now this may seem a little morbid, but I found this incredibly helpful in understanding my own or other people’s fears. Once understood, better decisions could be made. If I could imagine myself being able to live with the worst outcome imaginable, then making a decision that may seem risky, possible.
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What do you mean you have no plans?
I was recently interviewed for an article by a very talented writer, Ruby Hamad, on my current life journey and the choices I’ve made in my 30s that are very different from most of my friends, well actually, all of them.
I am in my mid-ish 30s (which I’ve had trouble announcing that to the world for some reason since I turned 35). I can get away with telling people I’m younger.
We need you!
Nepali people speak. Nepal needs both volunteers and tourists, now.
I read the articles. I’m sure you did too. ‘Don’t come to Nepal’ was the persistent and continuing message from writers across the globe. Everyone cited Haiti.
Haiti was a disaster. Volunteers put a strain on resources, preventing emergency crews and doctors from saving lives. A horrid situation indeed. Contributed to by well intentioned people. So the message for Nepal was clear: unless you are a doctor, or a trained recovery worker, we don’t want you.
Slapping therapy?
I’ve spent the past two weeks very very bruised and in substantial pain.
The story begins with a slender, black haired woman. She interrupted my typing reverie at a local cafe. We talked for over two hours. Fascinating background with loads of great travel stories. Towards the end of the conversation she told me about an ancient Chinese healing technique she has been using.
Cha cha or Leo Leo?
I recently visited the main town on Koh Phangan, Thongsala, (which is made up of essentially two main streets and alleyways branching off like a advantageous roots, in a haphazard, inconsistent fashion). All sorts of practical local supplies like hardware are mixed in with tattoo parlours, guest houses and food fares.
Embracing the third gender…
A striking difference between Thailand and… well, lets just say most other countries around the world, is the visibility and apparent acceptance of gender diversity here (this post is focused on trans women or MTF).
Benny
Benny is Burmese. He has joined many others escaping his country to work in Thailand. The money he earns here, he sends back home to his parents. His parents live in a crumbling shack, barely making enough to survive, let alone fix the walls in their wafer thin abode.
The power and danger of a single story
I recently watched a powerful Tedtalk by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie entitled ‘The danger of a single story’. Its inspired me to write this post.
The concept that Adichie so beautifully and eloquently presents is that we as humans like to understand other humans by creating ‘single stories’ about them.
Travellers I love…
This blog is dedicated to the types of travellers I adore. They inspire warm fuzzy puffs of love to grow inside me. The tall European first timers I met two mid 30s guys from North East Europe a couple of months ago. They were on their first trip to Thailand and to Asia generally. They had already been in Thailand for about 2 weeks when I met them. They were…
Zero.
Starting from zero. I had a conversation recently with a mid thirties man who had moved countries and was thinking of moving countries again. He expressed to me his sadness and concern about having to ‘start from zero’ again when he does this. Zero meaning finding and fitting into new communities, finding employment, a home and then working towards owning something at a much later stage than he would like.…
Me, You, Creative ???
A few people have wished me well with creativity on this venture of writing a book. I always have always seen artists as different from me. A unique group of beings that are on par with the great avatars of history, able to create works that transport people to places yet unseen and lives yet unlived. This elite group of beings have been gifted these magical powers to create pieces…
The realisation that… I am currently my own boss!
Towards the end of my first week, something slowly dawns on me. Not as quick as a sunrise, and not as slow as a westerner trying to pronounce ‘“ผู้ว่าราชการจังหวัด” (phoo-waa-raat-cha-kaan-jang-wat)’*, but more like a butterfly unfolding and pushing its way out of a cocoon. I am my own boss. Certain expletives come to my mind. There is no-one to account to for the amount of work I do or…
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Pyjamas, Obama and mosquitos!
What is the common theme in these three very different subjects: pyjamas, Obama and mosquitoes? Nothing. Nothing at all. But that is what filled my third and fourth days of writing. Day threeeeeeee I awoke early from a peculiar dream. I dreamt I was staying at Obama’s house. We were watching TV in his big lounge room and there was an important election going on. I…
The angel and the devil
I had two very good friends give me two very different sets of advice on commencing this journey. The first friend is a beautiful creative being to the core of her soul, spending the majority of her time creating exquisitenesses to explore the world around her which is both a mystical and real life exploration. Her advice to me, after I said would take a few days when I arrive…
Initial trepidations!
So my journey to my new life begins with Etihad airlines. A sheek, high quality service, super comfortable, airline. The prayer in Arabic at the start of the flight takes me to another place, and I am drawn to listen to the resonating, deep voices of readings from the Quran on one of the radio stations. Such a beautiful language to listen to! As I sit watching the clouds, the…
I’m now a…. writer?
I made a big decision. To quit my job, to pack up my new life in a new city and go write for a few months (maybe more) in Thailand. And I did this in about 6 weeks. I kinda like speed. No use waiting for the right time, I think making a decision and then acting on it as soon as possible is ideal (obviously timing and commitments play…