I made a big decision. To quit my job, to pack up my new life in a new city and go write for a few months (maybe more) in Thailand.
And I did this in about 6 weeks.
I kinda like speed. No use waiting for the right time, I think making a decision and then acting on it as soon as possible is ideal (obviously timing and commitments play a big part for a lot of people, I am fortunate not to have too many of those in my life right now!).
So packing up a life, saying goodbye (again) to friends and family that I so enjoyed connecting with over the past year was difficult. Quitting the job wasn’t. I hadn’t really settled in ‘the’ job for the past 6 months since moving to my new city.
My massive problem with work is that I am interested in so many things. I can practically enjoy most work, as long as I can see intrinsic social value, which when you get down to it, is all occupations and jobs. I love in particular strategic planning and big picture development of organisations. I love getting to quickly understand an organisation, get to know its work and developing plans to progress its future.
Having a background in law helps my focused, analytical, risk based thinking. My background in community legal centres (legal aid type work) has developed my patience, engagement and social value focuses. I have fortunately been pushed through circumstances to try new things. I was hesitant in my 20s to change jobs (due loyalty and fear predominantly). Now I can’t get enough change and more expansive work experiences. I incorporate new ideas, frameworks, knowledge and inspiration from different areas into whatever job I am in. And I love it.
But I just didn’t find that fit in Melbourne. And I know its just time till getting that position that clicks and ticks all the boxes (for both me and the organisation I work for).
So I thought since I am not yet entrenched into ‘that’ job yet, I should go and do what I really want to be doing (for this time anyway – my passions for other types of work have not less diminished, I just have this thing I want to do now!).
Another factor was when I was working for an organisation recently, I completely reorganised, restructured and simplified their major work for the next couple of years. I thought if I can do that for a whole organisation, I should be doing that for my life. And so I asked myself what it is I most want to achieve right now?
The answer: writing a book. Or two. Oh, and a screenplay, not to mention a few blogs. (I’m not one to do things in halves! 🙂
I wanted to write after work and on the weekends. The problem with my personality is that when I focus on something, I give it 130%. Or more. This means that after work I am too tired to write or be creative in the ways I want to be creative. Also, I like seeing friends and family after work and on weekends and relaxing and enjoying life. Although writing is very enjoyable to me, I left little space to do it in.
And I am not one of those super people. You know the type. They work full time, study a masters part time, are a parent and coach their girl’s basketball team.
I only have me. And I still can’t fit in time to write. And I’ve tried. It just hasn’t happened.
So I need special time. Yes, indulgent, special time.
This indulgent, special time is costly. I didn’t have a lot saved (due to coming back from a 2 year long trek around the world a year previously). But then I got a $4000 tax refund. And I thought to myself, ‘Well that’s enough to survive well for few months in Thailand’, (there is no way I could do that in Australia).
Worse case scenario
You know, if it doesn’t work, if I run out of money, that’s ok. I go home, get a job and see what new adventures awaits me. I can contribute to the world in so many more ways. There isn’t any loss.
The real worst case scenario is not doing this. Not giving it a go, not finding out. Not making my heart sing every morning from the joy of creating. And the joy of being in this space. The joy of knowing how lucky I am to be alive. And doing this.
So here I am, a privileged white foreigner writing a book (or two) in a beautiful Thai Island.
There could be worse situations.