‘You don’t have a bike? And you’ve lived here for how long?’
Everyone I meet sings out this refrain.
‘Yes, I know. But I like walking. It’s a little challenging in this heat. But this body needs the exercise. Believe me. And it’s good to break up my all day typing too. And, if I had a bike, I’d get a little distracted. This way I keep myself focused on writing, walking and living simply here.’
Some responses:
‘Well, I take my hat off to yer. Those are bloody hard hills!’
‘I couldn’t do that in this heat, no way.’
‘But you miss out on seeing stuff. A lot of stuff!’
And my favourite was from a ex – pro American footballer turned Gym owner:
‘For sure that’s a work out. There ain’t no way I’m doing that!’
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| The bikes look so cute and innocent, easy to ride, right? |
But when my friends recently came for a visit, I decided I wanted to show them a bit of the island (and perhaps see some of the isle myself!). My friend Tom who rides a motorbike back in Australia said he would teach me.
It couldn’t be that hard, could it? I mean, everyone rides a motorbike here. Everyone. I’m like a eucalyptus tree on a sandy beach. A loner in the heat with very little nutrients.
Remember my first post ‘To bike or not to bike‘? Everyone seemed to have an opinion.
Remember my first post ‘To bike or not to bike‘? Everyone seemed to have an opinion.
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| The brakes look easy to use! |
Tom points out the indicators. And explains that to make the bike ride faster, you have to twist the right handle down, and to stop I have to squeeze the breaks. Simple.
The bike jerks ahead before I got what was happening. It launches towards a rocky edge of the road. I squeeze both handles down to stop as I meet the edge. My heart is doing little flip flops.
No, I can do this. I can do this.
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| Simple! |
I walk my bike around in a circle towards an enclosed house area with a driveway in between. A somewhat safe looking path.
‘Keep your feet out the whole time you are riding. It will help you balance.’
‘Ok.’ He’s noticed my incredible balancing abilities. I’m sure my previous life was as a tightrope walker. A tightrope walker that balanced 10 people on my head whilst holding a bar with trees growing out the end. I got out all my balancing abilities in that life, obviously.
I drive up the path and awkwardly turn around and come back.
‘Ok, I think I can do this. I’ll try again.’
Down is forward. Not stop. Down is forward, not stop. Shit!!!!
I narrowly miss the side of the house. I can do this. I can.
I turn around and drive back down the path again.
‘Okay, I think I’m right.’
‘Okay. So I want you to drive up that hill and come back down again.’
‘Really?’ My heart starts wagging like the dogs who are curiously looking on.
‘Yes, we’ll both go. Its better you try it here than when you’re out on the road.’
‘Ok.’
I follow Tom up the hill. I speed towards a parked car. Down is forward. Not stop. Damn!
I narrowly miss the car.
‘Ok now lets go down. You don’t need to accelerate down hill. Just let it roll and remember the brakes.’
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| The little hill |
I feel my waggy tailed heart again. It’s ok, you can do this, no problems. Its just a little hill. Just a wee little hill.
The motor is running and I’m looking down the hill. I am stationary and perched on the rocky top path. I watch Tom drive down the hill. It looks easy. It really does.
Ok, so to get this thing moving I do need to accelerate. That’s ok. I can. It’s possible.
I inch the accelerator down.
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| The rocky path |
Fuck! Shit!
I turn into the bushes at the side of the hill. I’m stopped but the motor is still running.
I notice my tummy has joined my heart and we’re all beating a techno beat. Shit!
‘I don’t know what to do.’
‘Ok, just move backwards.’
My failing attempts make Tom take over.
‘You’ve freaked out haven’t you?’
I nod silently. My head screams: I am never getting on a bike again!
‘I’ll drive it back down.’ Thank you Tom.
I safely walk down the small hill.
Betty, the Thai mama I stay with is delighted with my decision.
‘Good. You walking to Cafe and back, good. You not drive. Too dangerous for farang. Many farang accident and some time karput. Me happy. Me drive you to different beach today.’
I am grateful I can walk. And that I don’t have to ride a bike, and that occasionally, I get a lift. And even more grateful that a couple of days later my friends decided to rent a car so we could all explore the island together… this Sunday I will reveal our adventures, including the search for the mysterious tree!
I am grateful I can walk. And that I don’t have to ride a bike, and that occasionally, I get a lift. And even more grateful that a couple of days later my friends decided to rent a car so we could all explore the island together… this Sunday I will reveal our adventures, including the search for the mysterious tree!
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