My torment, my bon fast

I've been asked to discuss the after effects of my 3 day fast over the Christmas period 2015. For over 82 hours the only thing I consumed was water with squeezes of lemon and the occasional herbal tea. I filmed myself in the throws of the fast and made summary videos at the end of each day. You can view these on my You Tube Channel (or scroll down below)

During the fast I literally could not do anything that I would consider normal parts of my daily routine: exercise, writing, cooking, reading, thinking… It literally took everything I had to make a summary video at the end of each day. Getting up was a big achievement! :)

In the few days subsequent the fast I began to reflect on the experience. And a week post fast I now have a greater appreciation of what will now be forever referred to as my ‘My torture, My Bon Fast’ of 2015. (As I am now in France, people wish each other here over the Christmas period: ‘Bon Fete’ or ‘Good Celebration/Party/Feast’).

But first let me take you to initial days post fast.

Day 1 after the fast

I felt very much still consumed in the fast. I was tired, lethargic and focused on getting food into me. That was pretty unsuccessful, as it took 7 hours to drink two glasses of juice (literally my whole day of food until sunset). I was also preparing food I could eat for a few days, which was more than enough to consume my entire afternoon.

Day one was interesting because I found the juice (which was fruit blended up with skins on) bloated me. I have never been a big juice or fruit person. My body, (and every body is different), prefers cooked foods, warming foods for my tummy, and I love vegetables, legumes, nuts, grains (and all those carbs and sweets which I won’t mention here :). So I ditched the juice and dove head first into some warming carrot, coriander and cumin soup.

Day 2 after the fast.

This day was marvellous for the simple reason I had my first black tea (decaf). It was magical to drink in that warm, black liquid. Normalcy started to seep back into my life… sans chocolate. I sat at my computer for the first time since commencing the fast. It was interesting that throughout the fast that I could not do any work, at all. I was too consumed in the tiredness and headaches to focus on anything like writing! I immediately thought of what I usually do to distract myself when I sit at my computer: eat of course. Preferably dark minty chocolate.

But the difference on this day is that I kept asking myself the question: ‘Am I hungry?’ And the answer was always invariably ‘no’.

I knew I couldn’t put too much pressure on my body - it needed time to start absorbing and digesting again, so this is one thing that stopped me from over eating despite knowing that my body was not hungry. It’s just that naughty, naughty, mischievous mind!

I made some brown rice (which I had soaked for 36 hours previously) and put a bit of soya sauce and sesame seeds on top. I know it sounds as boring as eating cardboard in the middle of Paris (but believe me - soaking brown rice at least overnight, makes it more easily digestible by activating good enzymes, but also makes it taste amazingly great after cooking - I never liked brown rice before this!). After tasting the rice and soya sauce, I wanted more, immediately. AAaaahhhh salt… the eternal call to high heavens!

I did notice myself clock watching, as I knew it was good for me to eat every 2 hours. Fasinating for me was that it took me two days to eat one banana. That is unheard of in my world. Unheard of!:)

Bowel movements

And, I commenced bowel movements again after 4 days. It was odd for me to not have done anything for 4 days. It felt strangely good to commence this daily function again! :)

Exercise

My usual 30 minute exercise routine went out the window on Day 2 of the fast. I could hardly stand, let alone contemplate anything like ab crunches! It took me until Day 3 or 4 post fast to commence my usual routine again.

Summary of what I’ve learnt:

• It has given me a lot more understanding of my mind and body. Experience is really learning.

• It has made me aware of the importance of abundant fresh water when you can’t eat.

• I don’t know how anyone could work, exercise or do anything really when fasting or not eating.

• My over eating is all in my mind.

• Food is what I turn to for emotional support.

Ok, so I already knew number 5. It is my predominant vice. It always has been. But in doing this, I truly understand just how much eating is related to me emotionally supporting myself. It is my primary life comfort.

It has now been a week and a half since the fast. For the first 4 days after the fast I was super conscious of my eating. Now I am back to my regular chocolate distractions from my work. The ultimate truth is that I love food. I love taste, I love cooking, I love all the rituals associated with food and eating. I like the energy I get from food.

And I love tea. Shamelessly. In the days following the fast I was back into my tea ritual (15 cups minimum per day). There is just something about a tea ritual. Just something… nuturing and loving about a good cup of tea for me. The heat of the cup as I wrap my hands around it. The dark, tasty liquid flowing into my being. The way I bow my head to take a sip, gently caressing my throat and how it warms the core of me…

I digress… The major take away for me which I continue to reflect on post fast, is: is my body really hungry? I ask this of myself when I think I’d like to eat.

And the cheeky Sunni replies, ‘No, but I want to’, or ‘I want the taste’, or ‘I’d like to be distracted’.

The primary difference from before is that I know my body is not genuinely hungry. It actually can go for long periods of time without food. I have heard this before and I met a person who didn’t eat for over 6 months earlier this year. I’ve also heard of breatharians. I knew it was possible, but certainly not for me. And I know at this stage in my life I could not imagine doing this (my obsession and pure love of food is too strong!).

But these 3 days have made me more aware. I know now that when I’ve been desperate for food previously in my life (and lets just say that that has been more than regular), it is probably due to patterning, a mindset of needing food ‘otherwise I’ll die’ - which is simply not true! (I knew this before, but not understood this fully for me and my body). I’ve learnt a powerful lesson: I know most of my eating and cravings are in my mind. My body tells me a different story. It regularly says ‘I’m full.’

Why I did the fast:

The primary aim of my fast was to experiment with me, give my body a break when most people in Australia, America, UK & Europe were stuffing themselves senseless. It was my response to the over consumption of the season, (I was the only house in the village that did not put out a rubbish bin on bin day over Christmas!). It also strikes me as odd, when these celebrations centre around the ideas of life, family and enjoyment, that death and cruelty is at the cornerstone of most family feasts.

Nearly all Religions around the world encourage the practice of fasting (for different times and different degrees). Yogis extol the benefits of fasting. I am not religious at all. I do not do any daily spiritual practices. I was curious though to see what some people who fast experience. Closer to the divine? If my headaches were any indication of God, then I definitely experienced weighty, divine communication throughout the fast. Apart from that, nada. No epiphanies or visits from messengers of God.

The biggest thing I learnt is how difficult it must be for anyone to do anything without food. I couldn’t even write. How could anyone work or function in any capacity is beyond me. I was also in a comfortable environment with loads of water. If I didn’t have ample water, I would not have been able to complete the fast. Water sustained me.

I now have a completely new appreciation of what it’s like to go without food. It was worth doing the fast just for that reason alone. I also have a much deeper understanding of the importance of access to clean water.

Here are the much more entertaining videos:

The Intro

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

The Day After